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Raikkonen announces switch to Mario Kart

kimi raikkonen

After a failed attempt to join Red Bull Racing as Mark Webber’s replacement for the 2014 season, former world champion Kimi Raikkonen has announced he is giving up his Formula 1 comeback and switching to racing Mario Kart instead.

Having avoided the paddock in the lead up to the Formula 1 Shell Belgian Grand Prix, Raikkonen called a hastily convened press conference at his trailer where he emerged wearing blue overalls and a patchy attempt at growing what may have been a mustache on his upper lip. Within moments Raikkonen had broken the news.

“While it’s obviously sad to be leaving Formula 1 after a far more successful comeback than Michael Schumacher, the last few weeks have confirmed to me that I want to take on a new challenge,” Raikkonen said. “To that end, I’m retiring from Formula 1 racing at the end of this season and will be taking up Mario Kart instead.”

When quizzed further about which Mario Kart team he may join, Raikkonen was typically non-committal, “Look I hear there’s plenty of great teams in Mario Kart, so I’ll evaluate my options and go from there. I’ve already held talks with Mario, Luigi, Wario and Bowser. The one team I won’t be joining is Princess Peach. My agent tried getting in touch with them but kept getting told to go look in another castle.”

Raikkonen’s move emulates other Formula 1 drivers who have switched racing formulas, including Alain Prost who joined Dick Dasterdly’s team in the Wacky Races formula and fellow Finn Mika Hakkinen who joined Speed Racer team Racer X.

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