The Silver Ferns have announced their cut-down squad for the Constellation Cup series against Australia next month with the surprise pick of a Fisher and Paykel AquaSmart2 7kg top loader washing machine as a wing attack.
Silver Ferns coach Waimarama Taumaunu denied that the inclusion of the piece of whiteware was a shameless plug for one of the team’s top sponsors, “We know it doesn’t look ideal on the surface, but when you drill down into the AquaSmart2’s performance, you just can’t fault it’s stain removal ability or low water usage.”
When further pressed on the selection Taumaunu replied, “Look, the Australian’s are a dirty team and I don’t doubt for a second that AquaSmart2 will clean them out. It offers dirt and grime busting power that no one else in netball can do today, it’s robust enough to stand up to the Aussie’s physical style and at the end of your day the team’s outfits will be freshly washed, soft and oh so cuddly.”
The inclusion of AquaSmart2 comes at the expense of experienced shooter Anna Thompson and midcourter Katarina Cooper, while Kayla Cullen misses out due to a knee injury. However neither Anna or Katarina were disappointed to miss out to the laundry appliance.
“Taumaunu called us ahead of the announcement and let us know why AquaSmart2 got in ahead of us,” said an upheat Thompson. “We’ve been told we need to go away and work on our energy efficiency and reliability, while also seeing if we can’t contact our parents to upgrade our manufacturer’s warranty, as the AquaSmart2 has a current 12 month one and we know we can’t compete with that.”