Following being thumped by England 3 – 0 in the just concluded Ashes series, Australian captain Michael Clarke said in the post-match press conference that “the Ashes aren’t really a big deal.”
Speaking fresh after the controversy that saw play abandoned early due to low light, the Australia captain was quick to downplay the notion that any significance should be given to the series. Suggesting that in the scheme of things that the “Ashes don’t mean that much anyway. We’ve got the Chappell-Hadlee Trophy and that’s definitely a bigger trophy size wise, while there’s the KFC Big Bash and that’s practically an international competition given the lack of Australian players in it.”
Asked by journalists whether his lack of passion for the Ashes was due to Australia’s recent run of poor-form, Clarke was quick to point out that the Ashes are, “Just an urn with some charcoal in it. It’s probably not even the original bails, just soot from some old codger’s fireplace.” Clarke went on to clarify that, “What sort of a trophy can’t you drink a few VBs out of anyway? Seems like a pretty dump cup to me.”
Meanwhile the England cricket team have been reported to be scrambling to find the Ashes urn after tabloids spotted Kevin Pietersen inhaling a grey, powdery substances from a table at a nightclub in Hackney during team celebrations post match.