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Wenger admits “It’s time to buy things”

Arsene-Wenger

Under fire Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has responded to criticism of their inability to purchase players during the summer transfer window by admitting that he is now “thinking of buying things.”

Having lost star player Lukas Podolski for up to three weeks due to a hamstring tear in their 2 – 0 win over Fenerbahce at Emirates Stadium, Arsenal’s lack of depth and firepower has become a weekly topic for journalists at Wenger’s press conferences. Indicating that the pressure had finally told, Wenger produced a long shopping list to put in front of reporters at today’s edition.

“Look, I know I have to spend some money sooner rather than later,” Wenger said, “For instance, we’re out of milk at home and my wife isn’t very happy about that and we’re not sure what we’re going to cook for dinner tonight either, so I’d better go to M&S and buy something for that too.”

Wenger then proceeded to read our a total of 42 items from his shopping list which included eggs, white sugar, vanilla essence, butter, flour, chocolate chips and other pantry stables. When asked by reporters whether he was actually reading out the ingredients required for a batch of chocolate chip cookies Wenger conceded that, “I know it sounds like a recipe, but being a football manager is a lot like being a baker. It’s important to make sure you have the right mix of ingredients and right equipment before bake, otherwise you might not be successful.”

Arsenal’s majority owner, Stan Kroenke, was approached for his comment about Wenger’s shopping list following the press conference. In a written statement Kroenke indicated that “I also like cookies,” and that “people need to remember a cookie is actually quite different to a biscuit.”

 

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