Wellingtonian James Donovan has today discovered that his attempt go to the Sevens dressed as someone who wasn’t wearing a costume backfired when no one else attending the Sevens understood the irony of his carefully chosen outfit of denim shorts, a smart casual shirt and sensible hat.
Turning up at the two day event, famous for it’s creative, raunchy and often minimalistic costumes, Mr Donovan was confronted by hordes of fans asking him why he hadn’t bothered to get in costume for the day. “But I am in costume,” Mr Donovan protested, “I’m dressed as someone who didn’t get dressed up for the Sevens.”
Mr Donovan’s attempt at irony was met by blank stares from the first group to ask him about his lack of costume.
“I don’t get it, you’re just in normal clothes, that’s not a costume” a confused looking Crayola Crayon replied.
Mr Donovan was made to feel more awkward when a group of NFL quarterbacks tried to give him one of their helmet’s to wear so that he didn’t feel left out. “Can’t you see I’m dressed as someone who didn’t realise this was a costumed event?” said Mr Donovan as the quarterbacks attempted to remove his hat and trade it with a helmet.
“Nah bro, you need a helmet, can’t have people thinking you didn’t make an effort,” said one of the quarterbacks.
Mr Donovan admitted that he had been somewhat taken by surprise by no one understanding his costume.
“You’d think it’d be quite obvious,” Mr Donovan said while being pointed out by other Seven’s fans. “I mean, you just don’t turn up at the Sevens in normal clothes, everyone knows you have to have a costume, so by turning up in normal clothes it’s clearly an attempt to be ironic about the entire situation, isn’t it?”
When asked whether the lack of comprehension of his costume choice would impact his ability to enjoy the day, Mr Donovan conceded that, “Yeah, it’s pretty stink. I might just head home and make myself a cup of tea and watch a re-run of Coronation Street instead.”