Fresh from his exclusion from the All Black’s end of year tour squad, discarded utility Colin Slade has begun optioning a movie script which he envisages as a “sequel to Stephen Donald’s ‘The Kick’ which debuted on New Zealand screens this August.
“Look, Beaver is so 2011, I’m the hero of the moment and I deserve some recognition,” Slade said to reporters outside TVNZ headquarters in Auckland this morning. “I think it’s an inspirational story, the fourth choice first five who missed out on glory in the last World Cup, gets recalled to the squad after injury and drunken stupidity take out two of his rivals, and he nails the winning conversion.”
An annotated copy of the script, given to media by Slade himself as he whispered “here you go, call it a studio leak, that’ll get people excited,” contains casting suggests for the movie, with Slade to be be played by Chris Hemsworth, and All Blacks coach Steve Hansen to be portrayed by Stephen Fry.
Slade’s first five rivals, Daniel Carter, Aaron Cruden and Beauden Barrett, are not referred to by name throughout the entire script.
“Look, you’d have to ask the screenwriter about that. I’d assume it’s a metaphor or something,” Slade replied to questions about the omission of their names. However when challenged that Slade himself was the screenwriter, as per the credits on the script, Slade lashed out, “Do you want the leaked copy or not?”
Following his being turned away at TVNZ’s reception desk by security guards, Colin Slade was seen a the local New World stocking up on Coca Cola products with ‘Win a trip on tour with the All Blacks’ promotional material on it, despite this competition having closed some months ago, being for the final few matches of the recently concluded Rugby Championship.