Thousands of New Zealanders reported awaking in a state of utter confusion this morning as they realised that the cricket and rugby seasons are poised to overlap with the Blackcap’s season opener in Mt Maunganui occurring before the domestic rugby season has concluded.
Chief among the victims of this mass epidemic of confusion was Sky Sports rugby and cricket commentator Ian Smith.
“I have no idea which cliches to use in my commentary,” Smith told Radio Sport’s Crowd Goes Wild Breakfast. “I’m meant to be calling today’s Blackcaps match, but all I’m thinking about is how my beloved Hawkes Bay Magpies are going to do in the ITM Cup Championship.”
Other sports fans also phoned into the show reporting symptoms such as being unable to decide whether to wear a Blackcaps or an All Blacks top while mowing the lawns this weekend, or if it’s okay to start talking about cricket with work colleagues who might also be dealing with the season overlap.
“It’s a well established scientific fact that sports fans can only handle one sporting obsession at a time,” Sports Scientist Mike Doherty said. “So having such a significant overlap in the seasons of sporting codes creates an existential crisis for many sports fans out there. Do they stay supporting their rugby team and risk missing out on the early action of the cricket season, or do they start following the Blackcaps and risk being ostracised by their friends when they didn’t watch the weekend’s rugby matches?
“There’s no easy answer. Suffice to say, if you find a sports fan laying prone on the floor and unable to function, simply cover them with a blanket, make sure they’re comfortable, and wait until December when the rugby season finally finishes.”