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Brad Thorn retires from rugby to take up career as Strepsils’ spokesman

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Dual international Brad Thorn has announced his retirement from all forms of rugby so he can pursue a career as a spokesman for throat lozenge brand Strepsils, following years of team mates being unable to understand him due to his husky voice.

Sucking on one of his sponsor’s products, a surprisingly articulate Thorn spoke about his decision at at press conference in Leicester overnight.

“It’s a move I’ve had on my radar for some time,” Thorn said, his voice clear of the grit that is usually associated with the towering lock, “My old husky voice has given me plenty of trouble over the years. It’s the reason why each my family heads to the Gold Coast for Christmas.

“It all started when my wife asked what I wanted for Christmas one year, I was trying to say ‘I’d really like to go get a cold roast’, but all she heard was ‘like to go Gold Coast.’ I mean, I bloody hate the Gold Coast, it’s full of people from Auckland and Hamilton, why would anyone ever want to go there?”

Thorn also revealed that his notoriously difficult to understand voice had been the reason behind his switch to rugby league.

“Some interviewer was asking me whether I’d ever leave rugby, and I actually replied ‘rugby, leave?’ and laughed at him. Unfortunately he mishead it as rugby league and next thing you know everyone was writing up that I was leaving to head across the Tasman, so I pretty much had to go.”

For their part, Strepsils are understood to be rapt with their new brand ambassador.

“It’s great that someone with such an iconic sounding sore throat voice such as Brad Thorn will be promoting the benefits of Strepsils to our consumers,” said a spokeswomen for Strepsils. “Even though we’re pretty sure he doesn’t ever need our product as there’s no record of Brad Thorn having ever caught a cold in his life.”

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