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Lions to skip playing in NZ at all in 2017

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Along with avoiding playing games in Invercargill and Nelson in their 2017 tour of New Zealand, the British and Irish Lions have announced that they will not be playing any games in New Zealand at all.

“Why would we?” said Lions’ coach Warren Gatland. “Last time we were there we got our arses absolutely handed to us, and if we’ve learnt anything over the past century, it’s that the British are just sore losers.

“We decided it’d be easier just to not play in New Zealand at all and save embarrassing ourselves. Instead we’ll go tour somewhere that we’re guaranteed to win, like Romania, or Canada, but not Cyprus. They won 24 games on the trot, it’s better not to gamble on that.”

The announcement to not play any games in New Zealand has also put in jeopardy the Lions future tours to South Africa, however not their plans to go to Australia.

“The Wallabies? They’re a bunch of pansies. A touch rugby team could beat them the way they play,” said Gatland.

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