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Tana Umaga “I can’t do any worse than the last Blue’s coach”

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While the resignation of Auckland Blue’s coach Sir John Kirwan has left the Board fuming that they weren’t able to sack him, the lead contender to replace Kirwan at the Blues, Tana Umaga, has admitted that there’s little chance he could do any worse than Sir John.

Umaga, who was approached for comment watching a Counties club game, admitted that that he was reluctant to take on the Blues coaching role, but conceded that he couldn’t do worse than Sir John Kirwan’s failed reign.

“Yeah, I can’t do any worse than the last Blue’s coach,” Umaga said. “Not even John Mitchell could do worse than that. I mean, Kirwan’s tenure was seriously bad wasn’t it?”

“They’ve got the largest catchment of any New Zealand franchise, but haven’t done anything noteworthy since that 2003 title. They signed Benji Marshall who had barely any rugby career ahead of them, they couldn’t hang onto Ma’a Nonu. I’ll be taking my 10-foot barge pole with me for sure if I sign up.”

For their part, the Blues Board are said to be fuming that Kirwan resigned before he could be sacked. “We were secretly hoping that Kirwan would try and stick around, then the Board could show we’re actually capable of making a decision and sack him,” said CEO Andy Dalton. “However now he’s left on his own accord, people will just continue to assume we’re all inept at our jobs, which isn’t entirely inaccurate judging by the omnishambles over the past few years on the field.”

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