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Phil Kearns “I’m not biased, I just really really love the Waratahs”

phil kearns

Hitting back at suggestions that he was overly biased in his commentary during the Waratah’s lose to the Highlanders in their Super Rugby semi final in Sydney on Saturday night, Phil Kearns labelled his critics “losers” who “wouldn’t know a game of rugby if they tripped over it.”

Following the legally correct ruling from referee Craig Joubert to sin-bin the man with the most difficult surname to pronounce in Australian rugby, Jacques Potgieter, Phil Kearns has been slammed by fans for being overly biased. “God, he’s worse than if Murray Mexted and Justin Marshall had a love child, isn’t he?” said John Roberts from his Dunedin flat on Saturday evening. “Not only does he have an eye-patch on, but he’s got a blue tinted contact lens in his one good eye,” Roberts continued.

“Didn’t realise Phil Kearns was auditioning for Channel Nine’s cricket commentary team,” said Twitter user @Scarfie4eva, while local commentator Grant Nisbett chimed in, “Shit, even the Mad Butcher could learn something from Kearnsy.”

For his part, Phil Kearns was unrepentant and denied he possessed any bias.

“Look, I’m not biased, I just really really love the Waratahs. Like really, have you seen my Waratah’s tattoo? I got it right next to my Wallaby and Southern Cross tattoos, means I fit right into the crowd at King’s Cross on a Friday night,” said Kearns over the phone on Sydney radio this morning.

“It’s not my fault the ref couldn’t just forget his job and not correctly enforce the laws just to give the Waratah’s a chance. They bloody should be in the final, as they’ve beaten the Hurricanes this year and are clearly the only team that truly deserves the title. Who cares if the law states that Potgieter had to go to the bin and a penalty try be awarded, I don’t give a fuck about rules. It’s about the spirit of the game, and that the Waratahs are allowed to do what the hell we want on the field.”

Typically firebrand coach Michael Cheika however has remained silent on the game, including denying reports that he was responsible for slashing the tires on Craig Joubert’s rental. “Nope, don’t know nothing about that Toyota Corolla from Hertz rentals. Nothing at all.”

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