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National shortage of cotton wool as All Blacks stock up

Cotton-Wool-Diet

Sewing classes, doctors clinics, and parents everywhere are struggling after supermarkets across New Zealand have run out of cotton wool following several large bulk orders by the New Zealand Rugby Union.

Following the rolled ankle of Colin Slade at training at the Hutt Recreation Ground last week that sent a wave of panic through the entire country, All Blacks coach Steve Hansen requested that the NZRU purchase enough cotton wool to “completely enclose Dan Carter, Beauden Barrett, and Colin Slade to a depth of no less of 30cm.”

Since then, NZRU staffers have been spotted at supermarkets around the country clearing out shelves in the medical aisles of supermarkets, entire departments at Spotlight, and turning pharmacies inside out in search of enough cotton wool to met Hansen’s request.

Stopped at Pak n Save Petone, one staffer revealed she had secured 27 bags of cotton wool, having gone both to the neighbouring Warehouse as well as Pak n Save.

“Do you know if there’s more at Queensgate? IS THERE?” she screamed as she headed towards her car.

Approached for comment about the All Blacks cotton wool purchases, the NZRU simply replied with a clip of Stephen Donald taking the field in the 2011 Rugby World Cup with a hand written note saying “Never again.”

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