The Springboks have decided to cut their loses and have quit the World Cup after realising that having lost to Japan, there was no point in the side continuing to play any more games.
“Even if we win now, it’s very pointless for us to remain, as this will always be the World Cup where we lost to Japan,” said Springbok’s coach Heyneke Meyer.
“We could go on and win the entire World Cup, but everyone knows Japan will be the true champions having beaten us in the first game,” he continued.
“So to save ourselves further embarrassment, the team has collectively decided that we shall be leaving England immediately to return to the Republic, where we will embark on a national apology tour and beg the nation for forgiveness.”
Asked for their reaction to South Africa’s decision to depart the World Cup, a Japanese spokesperson could not be woken from their hangover to provide comment.