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New Zealanders refrain from talking smack online for fear of jinxing All Blacks


“I can’t do it bro, I just can’t do it,” said Matthew Bridge as he contemplated making a smart arsed remark about the Wallabies chances in the Rugby World Cup final against the All Blacks this weekend. “If I start laying down the smack against all my Australian friends, I just know I’m going to jinx the boys and the Wallabies will bloody beat us.”

Matthew’s story is the same as that afflicting many New Zealanders this week as they contemplate the days until the All Blacks meet the only team to beat them in 2015. It seems that fans have learnt from 2003 when, going into that now infamous semi final against the Wallabies, their sky high confidence and cockiness towards Australians backfired on them when they went to work on Monday.

“I used to think that me winding up fans of opposition teams didn’t have an impact on how the All Blacks played, but after 2003 and 2007, I’m not so sure anymore,” said Matthew. “I’m also a Hurricanes and Wellington Lions fan, and after talking down at the Highlanders and the Magpies, and we lose to both of them, I’m really not sure I have it in me to smack talk the Wallabies this time around.”

“The last thing I want is the entire country blaming me for jinxing the result.”

For their part, Wallabies fans have been busy posting photos of all the trophies they have won in matches against New Zealand sides recently, including the Rugby League World Cup, the Netball World Cup, the Rugby World Cup, and the Rugby Championship.

“Stone the flaming crows, I’m not worried what those little sheep shaggers think,” said Convict McInbred when asked whether he was worried if his posting a photo of a kangaroo jumping on a kiwi might cause the Wallabies to lose.

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