Aucklander and Newshub presenter Ross Karl has been awarded the 2016 Nobel Prize for Physics after becoming the first person to successfully understand Super Rugby’s new format.
Karl’s groundbreaking work, which took the form of two minute video, has successfully demystified the competition for anyone else who also possesses a post-graduate qualification in mathematics, meaning that most New Zealand pubs will be equipped with at least one person capable of explaining it to their friends.
“After I’d spent hours trying to replicate SANZAR’s fixtures list by using techniques such as spirographing, throwing darts at a board, and ingesting copious amounts of LSD, I uncovered that there was method to their madness,” said Mr Karl in an interview with Scientific Atheltican. “My discovery that SANZAR genuinely hates rugby fans, and sees them as little more than unintelligible cash cows was a huge eureka moment.”
Karl’s eureka moment led him to review a number of other SANZAR decisions that helped support his discovery.
“When you looked at the bigger picture, that SANZAR never gave previous format changes a chance to bed in beyond a year or two, or that they keep thinking that the quantity of rugby was more important in driving audience numbers than the quality of rugby – despite all evidence to the contrary – it really painted a picture that SANZAR just doesn’t give a damn about Super Rugby’s fans and assumes they’ll just throw their money at whatever sparkly new product and format they throw at them,” Karl said.
Karl also pointed out despite his discovery, nobody should be surprised by SANZAR’s behaviour. “To be honest, look at how the NZRU butchered provincial rugby in New Zealand. They had a great format in 2007 and 2008 that people were starting to turn back up to watch again, and then they proceeded to make the whole thing so complicated that to this day nobody knows what’s going on. It’s hardly surprising that with the NZRU involved with SANZAR, they’d take a similar approach to murdering any success Super Rugby had.”