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Opinion: I should have joined Weight Watchers

jesse ryder

The following may be an opinion piece by Jesse Ryder.

In retrospect, my decision to purchase weight loss products over the internet may not have been a great one. I mean, I’m not exactly renowned for my decision making abilities, but who hasn’t gotten rip-roaringly drunk and punched their hand through a toilet window? One thing I guess we can all agree on is that I’m not the first professional athlete who claims to have been caught out by improper disclosure on a weight loss or medical product. It’s unfair to think that we should actually have someone check that these online, weight loss treatments are actually the real deal and that we’re allowed to use them. You’d think the manufacturers would have warned us athlete types after all those Aussies got caught for the same thing.

Thankfully, I’ve only been banned from cricket until October, which is pretty nice of New Zealand Cricket seeing as how it’s not cricket season, though I’m pretty sure this means I can still play for my indoor cricket team. It’s pretty much an entirely different sport and it’d be unfair to punish my indoor buddies by denying them the explosive abilities of Jesse “The Tank” Ryder.

My battle with weight has been a fairly public one. Between my binge drinking and reluctance to exercise, it’s hardly surprising I’ve ended up the way I have. Of course, now that I’ve been dealt my sentence for unwittingly ingesting banned substances from an fancy sounding weight loss product, I’ve realised I should have done things differently and taken a leaf from the book of some other outstanding cricketers, like Shane Warne and my idol, Martin Crowe. Just think endorsing hair loss products did for their hair? Maybe I should have endorsed Weight Watchers.

What could have been more exciting than having me shown you the pants that I used to be able to fit into versus my new slim ones? I’d then get to go on all those fancy news shows and enjoy their canapes. I could have enjoyed trying to be one of the just 6% of Weight Watchers members who achieve their weight loss targets. I could have actually tried to watch what I was eating, cut back on my drinking and cause water to bead from my head due to exertion – apparently non-sport people call it sweat, I always thought it was the sensation I got after a bad butter chicken.

I’m sorry New Zealand. I didn’t let you down because I failed to do the sensible thing and have a doctor check the substance I was taking, instead relying on reading the label and doing a quick Google search. I let you down because I tried to take the easy way out of losing weight, and it failed.

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