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Tag - T20 World Cup

Desperate Martin Guptill takes highlights reel to IPL CEOs

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Martin Guptill has been sighted desperately showing highlight reels of his summer of batting to IPL executives after the Blackcaps’ victory over Pakistan where he smashed 80 off 48 balls in Mohali overnight.

Guptill, who was seen leaving Kings Punjab XI headquarters in Mohali post-match carrying an iPad that appeared to be playing clips of some of his fireworks over the summer.

“I just don’t understand,” said a dejected Guptill as he waited for a bus back to the team hotel, completely unrecognised by passers by. “You show more consistent form than Brendon McCullum over two summers and take apart some of the best bowlers in the world, and still nobody wants to sign you up for the IPL.”

Guptill continued, “The way the IPL executives look at you, with those dead eyes. It’s like they don’t even know I smashed 237 not out in the World Cup, or that I regularly destroyed the attacks of Sri Lanka and Pakistan over this summer. The didn’t even see what I just did to Pakistan.”

Before boarding the bus, Guptill did observe that, “About the only time I got a reaction out of the IPL executives was when I got out my wallet to check I had enough money for the bus fare. They looked pretty disappointed when they saw how empty it was though.”

Firebirds promise start of a false dawn

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The newly crowned domestic one-day cricket champions, the Wellington Firebirds, have moved quickly to dampen expectations of their future success by promising fans that their first trophy in 12 years was only a false dawn and wouldn’t herald a new era of success for the region.

“Look, I think it’s pretty important that people realise that we were ridiculously lucky to even make it to the final,” captain James Franklin said on Saturday after the match. “Given how abysmally we played in other forms of the game, and how few international quality players we possess as a region, people shouldn’t get ahead of themselves just because we won this trophy.

“If it wasn’t for Kuggeleijn’s inability to bowl at the death, I’m pretty sure that we would have been screwed.”

Franklin went on to point out that, “We’ve seen people get far too excited about Wellington side’s winning titles before. Remember when the Lions won the NPC in 2000? They went on to do not much else for a long time, same thing when they won the Ranfurly Shield too. So as a team we’re keeping our sites set pretty low, which is basically trying not to embarrass ourselves completely next year.”

New Zealand Cricket Board member Martin Snedden agreed with Franklin’s sentiments. “We’ve seen how painful increased expectations can be,” Snedden said. “After the Blackcaps spectacular home series against the West Indies and India, getting knocked out of the T20 World Cup demonstrated how important it is to be honest about false dawns and the like.”

Snedden went on to add that, “Obviously we’d like to remind fans that, despite having home advantage, we fully expect the Blackcaps to choke at the ODI World Cup next year.”